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Case Studies – Relationships

Case Study # 1

He was successful investment banker and had recently married a well educated and beautiful girl from a small city. Unfortunately, just a few weeks into the marriage, he was facing problems in his marital relationship. The situation became so worse that he started contemplating divorce and sought the advice of his friend about a good divorce lawyer. However, the friend suggested him to visit our clinic once filing for divorce. As taking the decision of divorce all of a sudden without making enough effort to save the relation will not be correct.

He visited us for the first time with his friend and this was a good enough indication of the seriousness of his problems. During our interaction with him, we came to know that his wife always seemed to be cribbing and complaining about things or the other. She wanted to spend a lot of time outdoors and was disinterested in nourishing their relationship. We advised him to visit us again along with his wife. He promised us that he will make the best possible effort to convince his wife to meet us at least once.

In the next visit, we were happy to see that his wife was accompanying him. Though our interaction with her we learned that she came from a joint family and had shifted to the metro immediately after her marriage. She was living alone with her husband and had nothing useful to do all day. To top it all her husband often worked late and rarely had time to spend time with her except for indulging in physical intimacy. All these things made her feel useless and depressed. We understood the fact that the problem is not a one way one but error is there are both end.

We advised him to enroll her for some class or skill development workshop. If she could find a job, it would be even better. This will make her feel valuable and honoured in life and will help in developing a soft side for her husband.  We also advised the couple to share their problems directly and frankly with each other rather than cribbing inside. We also advised him to cut down his work a bit till the time she finds some creative engagements and also to spend as much time with her as possible, without becoming physically intimate.  They did what we said and they met us 6 months back and we got the chance to see a happy couple.

Case Study # 2 

A happily married couple, a 32 years old man with his 29 years old wife, was living a happy married life. Both of them were financially independent. They maintained their own bank accounts. They explored the best of their lives living together with each other for the last 5 years. They had been into pre-marital relations for two years. However, they found lack of interest in each-other. They have discussed everything to their neighbour who happened to be their best friends. They suggested them to pay a visit to us!

Since they both have lived an independent life, they found the current marital life uncomfortable. They shared everything about their current relationship and how their relationship was ending gradually, day by day. They told us how they had done everything in their pre-marital life. How they had enjoyed it and how long it lasted. They also shared that were more focusing on attracting each-other then living a happy life. They both lost their interests in each-other. They also lost sexual desires due to pre-marital life.

The couple visited our clinic as suggested by their friends, the couple was alone. They looked very tense and mentally disturbed. They were not looking at each other’s face. As per their major points of concerns, we assumed that the pre-marital relationship is the only reason behind their current life. We asked them to come individually to our clinic. We gave proper visiting dates and a note with all their points to concern about. We have prescribed some medicines to boost sexual desires. We offered some life lessons to live a happy married life out of all the odds in their lives.

As per our instructions, the couple visited us individually. We asked them to follow some guidelines. We instructed them properly about their pre-marital relationship and how they had achieved their sexual desires in the pre-marital relationship. We advised them to spend some good time with each other. We also suggested them to go for a movie or go for a slow walk in the evening. We told them to take care of their body and try to seek their partner’s attention by wearing good clothes. We asked them to visit us after 4 weeks. They visited us again and this time, they were talking to each other like a good couple. Both of them were smiling during the conversations.

Case Study # 3

After spending three years into the relationship, he decided to pop-up the big question in front of her. To his surprise, she turned down the proposal of getting married to him. This even worried her parents who had almost started preparing for their wedding. No one could understand the reason behind the denial as the couple always seemed happy and too much in love. Everyone tried to explain her but in vain. On the advice of a friend, she finally agreed to give her relationship a second thought and meet a counselor.

She came to us with her partner. She was visibly unhappy and her partner looked tensed. They both discussed their problems with us. She told us that her partner is always busy in his work and she rarely gets to see him. On the other hand, he told us that of late, she has been spending more time on the internet than with him. We had a conversation with both of them separately and managed to get to the root of their problem.

When we interacted with the girl, we came to know that she had been feeling like she was single given her partner was always occupied with work and this had made her spend more time on the internet. Eventually, she created a profile on a dating website and her partner was unaware of the fact. She accepted that the internet relationship was her mistake and she wanted to reconcile with her partner.  She told us that she wanted to apologize to her partner and make things normal.

We asked the couple to take part in our counseling sessions. We advised her to cut herself off from the internet and spend more time amidst family and friends. We made her realize the responsibilities on the shoulders of her partner. We also advised the guy to spend more time with her and take at least one meal together. We asked them to take part in our relationship workshops that aid in strengthening the relationship of a couple. They followed our advice and enrolled in the workshops. They came to us after six months with their wedding card in hand. With the help of the counseling, therapies, and workshops, they managed to save their relationship. Both of them looked very happy. They are going to tie a knot soon.

Case Study # 4 

He was in his early thirties and pursued a lucrative and highly successful banking career. He got married to a good looking girl around 1 year ago. While there was no strife and problems in the marital life or concerning the husband-wife relationship initially, the differences started to appear around 4 to 6 months after the marriage period. He was not satisfied with his married life in both subtle and profound ways. He talked to a very close friend about the issues and asked his opinion on whether he should pursue a divorce or not. The friend opinionated that 6 months of time is too little to judge the fruitfulness of a marriage. The friend instead guided him to our clinic, to seek professional help and advice.

He reported that there were no physical or sexual issues hampering the life of the couple. What he found quite annoying and disturbing was that her wife complaint about minor and smaller issues and problems on a daily basis. He said that he was quite exhausted by his full-time banking job itself, and the daily strife and quarrels/complaints were adversely affecting the happiness of his professional as well as personal life. We asked the person to come to the clinic along with his wife.

After the initial discussion, we found that the wife was not able to adapt to her new and recent Metropolitan surroundings. While the wife was reasonably educated, good-looking, and healthy, she was from a smaller city. As she did not have any job to do and all the house chores were also being done by the maidservant, she had lots of free time at her hand. She was not using that time for any of the creative purposes and was wasting it. She also was getting in engulfed in a sedentary life pattern and was refraining from physical activities and tasks as well. Her physical, as well as mental idleness, were making an adverse impact on her mind and behavior, and frustration was creeping into her slowly but steadily. Consequently, she was lesser enthusiastic and energetic towards all kinds of responsibilities and activities.

As there was no clinical depression found, we advised the wife of the banker to undergo some skill or education course in the field of computer, technology, writing or any other. We also advised her to seek a job based on her qualifications, so that she remains engaged for the major part of the day. We advised the wife to follow a diet regimen and exercise schedule regularly so that she does not gain any excess weight. The diet and exercise-related schedule and advice were provided to the husband as well.

We monitored the activities and progress of the wife as well as the husband, for a period of 4 months. The happiness and joy fullness of the couple’s life soon was restored and they were happy, jovial, and energetic after around 5 months period.

Case Study # 5

While he was a very successful lecturer at the age of 33, he was also into a deep relationship with another academician who was around 5 years younger than him. Unfortunately, his initial love relationship went through a downturn and his girlfriend got married to somebody else. While he was a very intelligent and practical person, his emotions somehow overtook his mind in this condition and he felt very broken and sad after the breakup. Upon the insistence of his parents, he decided to marry a girl. But even after 2 years of marriage, he failed to establish a loving, deep, and lasting relationship with his spouse. He also did not take care of his health lately due to which he gained weight, and also started refraining from physical activities and exercises. His lingering in the past movements resulted in a problematic marital as well as professional life. He discussed these problems with his close friend and he guided him to our clinic.

The patient reported that he was too much occupied by his thoughts and feelings about his earlier girlfriend, and his lingering in the past was taking his focus and attention away from his present life. As his wife was not from an academic background, there was a marital strife that further added to his stress, anxiety, and inconvenience. All other physical and mental aspects of the patient were entirely normal and hence we found this case particularly easy to treat.

We found that the patient was leading a very unhealthy lifestyle pattern lately. While sometimes he skipped breakfast and lunch, he ate heavily on other days. He was very sedentary during the day and did not indulge in any kind of exercise regularly. His weight was more than normal but he was still was not obese.

We provided the patient certain Ayurvedic pills so that he could get relief from stress, anxiety, and mental discomfort. We devised for him a properly balanced meal diet chart and told him to follow that as well. We also asked the patient to undergo certain strenuous exercises including cardio and weight lifting exercises so that his sedentary lifestyle was transformed into an active one.

The patient had a normal BMI and body mass index only after 3 months of following the program. He thanked us for making him more healthy, energetic, and lively again. He also told us that his married life was very happy and satisfying in all respects now.

Case Study # 6 

Ravindra an IT professional and Poonam a graduate (Name changed) marriage was fixed by parents of both. Ravindra working in a reputed IT firm always had some broad expectations from his life partner while Poonam being a simple small town girl feels shy to meet in public place before marriage. Ravindra want to know his future wife better before tying the knot and he requested her many times for a movie, a date or even to go with him for shopping. Once or twice she did but later she started refusing and always suggested to such things after marriage. After certain days they started having vocal fight with each other as because each other’s likings were not matching. Ravindra was ready to call the wedding off which was scheduled 4 months after. He shared his grievances to both side parents. Both the families were so shocked. Both families had a discussion and they decided to send them for relationship counseling to see if the relation can work or not.

The young unmarried couple met us in our counseling cabin. We spoke to them one by one separately and then together. Ravinder want a smart girl to be his partner who can speak, be frank and talk smoothly whenever she meet his colleagues, friends in parties or in any gathering. For such reasons he want to take her out so that he can know him first and understand the culture where he want to present him. On other hand Poonam was a shy girl and she don’t want much interactions with his professional life and want to manage like a typical house wife serving domestic duties and maintaining family. Ravinder is OK with housewife if she don’t want to work but she should be his partner whenever he is making any public appearance.

Our team found a serious concern from both end in this relation. First of all each other likes and dislikes were not asked during fixing the marriage and that went wrong. Both have different set of thinking’s and none of them are wrong at their end. We understood that in this case chance of adjustment is quite less. But we recommended them to speak with each other and see if they can fulfill each other expectation or not.

After 2 months the couple met us once again. They agreed that they are not made for each other. They discussed a lot to understand each other but they agreed that they are not fit for this match. They decided to quit and thanked us for our suggestion.  For us it’s a sad case but what made us happy is that we stopped happening of a bad marriage.

Case Study # 7 

Raman and Ishita ( Name changed) are married for last 5 years  but due professional need they both need to travel a lot but the destination remains different all the time as one belong to IT industry and other in beauty and cosmetic industry. It was a love marriage and they were going well in spite of traveling so long. But after 5 years they noticed that they started fighting very often and most of the time it was on taking care of their 3 years old daughter. Their parents visit them at regular interval when they are out for tour but due to growing age they are also unable to support the way they used to earlier. The fight took such an ugly turn that they once decided to take separation. Again parents need to intervene and they requested to go for relationship counseling before quitting the relation.

They both are busy and it’s just impossible for them to quit the job when after hard effort they reached such higher position in their respective companies. They know that as a parent they have some responsibility towards their daughter who is growing fast and need the presence of parents in her life badly. They also agreed that they remain so tired that when the turn comes to take care of daughter they feel really exhausted. Sometimes they need to work late night and after returning home they don’t feel like doing any work. Even the nanny is also neglecting her work which is affecting the health of the baby. The couple agreed that they love each other and there is no doubt in it from any side but they don’t know what to do to solve the issues.

After listening both of them carefully what we found is absolute work stress is the reason which is turning them fatigue. Even we found that both look so stressed out in appearance. We doubted if they are anemic or not. Noticing the physiological condition of the couple we first requested them to take at least a month long leave. What we felt that they need immense rest. We asked them to recall the good old days and find out some option which can allow them to spend more time. We even suggested dividing work of home. We also recommended to be friend first and then partners.

: They followed our guidance and when they met us back after 2 months they look so fresh. We asked them to for a compatibility test. They did and things came out fine. They thanked us for saving the marriage.

Case Study # 8

 He was in his mid 30s and was married to beautiful teacher by profession of a reputed school 5 years ago. He was a businessman and was living with her paralyzed mother. She left job after having baby boy 2 years ago. His child was everything for both of them. Everything was fine between them until he faced great loss in his business and everything was finished. The loss was so big that he sold his factory and other assets. They were left with house and a car. Daily expenses were irritating both of them. The pressure of paying off debts and making basic household expenses was costing them there peace of mind.

Due to this pressure they started fighting and arguments about money started between both of them. Though she was understanding wife but the situation was making her irritating and angry. She was losing her patience. He was worried about their relation and was depressed as he failed to give them luxury he promised for. He decided that both of them should go for counseling as these arguments was leading them towards divorce. He chose our clinic for consultancy and visited us with his wife.

The positive point in this case was that his wife was with him which shows that she also wanted to get her relationship better as it was earlier. They both were depressed and lost their senses. We assured them to feel free to share their emotions with us. We talked to them separately and advised few medical tests. They cooperated with us and responded to every question positively. We told them to be stress free and visit us again with their reports.

After 4 days they came back to us with medical reports, we studied there reports thoroughly and understood that this was the case of excessive stress which was spoiling there relation. We told them to be positive in every perspective of life. Life is second name of struggle and ups and down are there in every relation, so live stress free and keep your partner happy. We advised them few stress relieving yoga exercises and meditation to be practiced daily and assured them that our ayurvedic medicine and proper diet will show you drastic change in your behavior. They returned to us after 4 months with fresh reports and happy faces.

Case Study # 9 

She was 27 year old soft and sweet lady and played a role of perfect wife, daughter-in-law and a mother of 3 year old boy. She has everything which we call as a perfect happy life. But still she was missing something, little fights with her husband about not spending time with her and ignoring her being the main reason of their arguments. After few months these little arguments took shape of big fights and situation became so worse. When she discussed her problem with her best friend she advised her to visit us and seek relationship advice as every relation should get another chance to save the relation.

She visited us along with her friend and was little shy as where to start, we relaxed her and assured her about the privacy. She opened up about her relationship with her husband how small arguments turns into big fight without any genuine reason, how she feels depressed and feel like crying. In this casual chit chat session she informed us about that her husband was not in favor of working woman as she was the only one to look at her small baby and ill mother. He wanted her to stay at home and take care of his family.

After listening to her patiently we got o know about the basic reason behind all the fights we assured her about the solution and advised to visit again along with her husband. We were happy to see her husband accompanying her. It was a ray of hope of both of us, for a patient and for us as he was taking her problem seriously. Through our interaction we learned that she was a lady with many responsibilities and she was missing me time in between of all this. She wants to be pampered but above all this she wants to make her own identity she wants to do something for herself.

We understood the fact advised her husband to enroll her in any curricular activities which can help her relax and forget all the tensions of her home. He showed his inability to do so as his mother is 85 year old and cannot handle household chorus we find his problem genuine and advised her to do work at home jobs available online which will definitely not pay her dollars but will definitely divert her mind. They both agreed and left happily hand in hand.

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